Jokes Part IV

Laugh out your stress.  Read the best Filipino lawyer’s jokes from Atty. Lauro (Larry) Gacayan.

Thank you, Atty. Gacayan, for sharing your jokes.

laughteristhebestmed

 SAFE DRIVING…

Abe: (Nagmamaneho) Baby, pa-kiss naman oh.

Maldita: Ano ka ba baby? Nag-da-drive ka! Gusto mo bang mabangga tayo? Ako na lang ang ki-kiss sa iyo.

Abe: Sige, baby…thanks…

Maldita: Okey. Pikit ka muna baby kiss na kita!…hehehe

 

ANOTHER VIOLATION OF THE RIGHT TO EQUAL PROTECTION?

**PINAPAWISAN

Bakit kapag ang gwupo ang pinapawisan, the girls describe him as “HOT”

PERO

Kung ang pangit naman ang pinapawisan, the girls say he is “DUGYOT”?

**BADING

Bakit kung pogi ang bading, the girls say “SAYANG”

PERO

Kapag pangit ang bading, they say “SALOT”!

Please explain…

 

FINAL EXAM TO PRIESTHOOD

Final Exams na nina Abe bilang Seminarista at ang kanyang 30 kamag-aral pagkatapus ng limang taon na di nakalabas sa seminario at walang nakikitang mga babae…

Priest (Examiner): Pag naipasa nyo itong ibibigay kung exams nyo, full-pledged priests na kayung lahat.Sasabitan ko ang bell ang inyung mga private organs. Kung tutunog, bagsak kayo sa exams at di pa pwedeng magpapare.Dito muna kayo ng isang taon.

Ang unang bahagi ng exam ay ang pagbibigay ng porno magazines sa bawat isa. Puro sobrang bold pictures ng mga babaeng Amerikana. Walang tumunog na bell. Pasado lahat.

Ang ikalawang bahagi ng exams ay ang panunuood nila ng triple-X rated films kasama ang pelikulang DEEP THROAT ni Linda Lovelace. Walang tumunog. Psado silang lahat.

Habang hinihintay ang ikatlo at hiling pagsubok, di na nakayanan ni Abe ang init sa loob ng kwartong pinagdausan ng exam kasi walang aircon o electric fan man lang. Pinagpapawisan na siya.Inalis ni Abe ang kanyang suot na sutana at aksidenting lumabas ang kanyang itinatago.

BIGLANG NAGTUNUGAN LAHAT NG BELL NG MGA KAESKWELA!!

Si Abe lang ang pumasa!

 

PILOSOPO KA AH?

Mcdo Crew: (To Abe who is falling in line to the Cashier) Good morning sir. Ano po ang order nyo?

Abe: Isang large burger at large Coke.

Mcdo Crew: Dito po nyo ba kakainin?

Abe: Uhhhmmm, pwedeng sa table na lang? Nakakahiya kasi kung dito may nakapila pa sa likuran?

Mcdo Crew: Sir, Sa table ho? Ayaw nyo po bang sa plato kakainin para di baboy tingnan? hehehe

 

T H E O R Y

THEORY OF EVOLUTION: ….1/2 unggoy
Jaime Zobel de Ayala: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Spanish
Henry Sy: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese
Lito Atienza: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo
Mike Arroyo: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pork
John Osmena: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay
Prospero Pichay: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 Gulay
Gloria Macapagal Arroyo: 1/2….only

 

N A G M A N A

Abe: Dad, pinagalitan ako ng teacher ko.

Dad: Bakit?

Abe: Hinalikan ko kasi seatmate ko eh.

Dad: Itong binatilyo ko talaga, nagmana sa akin. Masarap ba?

Abe: Opo Dad, pogi po eh!

 

W E A K N E S S

(Sa Loob ng SM City Baguio)

Abe: (to his new GF) Baby, yung naka red shirt near the BDO ATM machine ang sinasabi kung ex-girlfriend ko.

Marie: Yaaaks! Ang pangit-pangit naman!

Abe: Wala akung magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since…

 

DENIAL OF THE EQUAL PROTECTION OF THE LAW

A lady student in Constitutional Law II (Bill of Rights) asked during class discussions on the right to equal protection under the Constitution:

Kristine:   If I sleep with three (3) different men, everyone calls me a slut. But when a man sleeps with ten (10) different women, everyone calls him a real man. How come?

Prof. Larry:   Confucious answered that centuries ago, my dear. It’s very simple. When one lock could be opened by three (3) different keys, it is definitely a bad lock. But when one (1) key can open ten (10) different locks, its a Master Key!!!

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About Magz

First of all, I am not a lawyer. I'm a graduate of AB Political Science and went to the College of Law but stopped going to law school for some reasons. I'm a passionate teacher who has been teaching English to speakers of other languages and a person who likes writing and blogging. I lost some important files and software when my computer broke down so the reason I created this website is to preserve the notes, reviewers and digests I collected when I was at the law school and at the same time, I want to help out law students who do not have enough time to go and read books in the library.

Posted on August 16, 2014, in Jokes and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. hahaha.nice joke n mem.aid..i enjoy reading…

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