Category Archives: Jokes

Jokes Part IV

Laugh out your stress.  Read the best Filipino lawyer’s jokes from Atty. Lauro (Larry) Gacayan.

Thank you, Atty. Gacayan, for sharing your jokes.

laughteristhebestmed

 SAFE DRIVING…

Abe: (Nagmamaneho) Baby, pa-kiss naman oh.

Maldita: Ano ka ba baby? Nag-da-drive ka! Gusto mo bang mabangga tayo? Ako na lang ang ki-kiss sa iyo.

Abe: Sige, baby…thanks…

Maldita: Okey. Pikit ka muna baby kiss na kita!…hehehe

 

ANOTHER VIOLATION OF THE RIGHT TO EQUAL PROTECTION?

**PINAPAWISAN

Bakit kapag ang gwupo ang pinapawisan, the girls describe him as “HOT”

PERO

Kung ang pangit naman ang pinapawisan, the girls say he is “DUGYOT”?

**BADING

Bakit kung pogi ang bading, the girls say “SAYANG”

PERO

Kapag pangit ang bading, they say “SALOT”!

Please explain…

 

FINAL EXAM TO PRIESTHOOD

Final Exams na nina Abe bilang Seminarista at ang kanyang 30 kamag-aral pagkatapus ng limang taon na di nakalabas sa seminario at walang nakikitang mga babae…

Priest (Examiner): Pag naipasa nyo itong ibibigay kung exams nyo, full-pledged priests na kayung lahat.Sasabitan ko ang bell ang inyung mga private organs. Kung tutunog, bagsak kayo sa exams at di pa pwedeng magpapare.Dito muna kayo ng isang taon.

Ang unang bahagi ng exam ay ang pagbibigay ng porno magazines sa bawat isa. Puro sobrang bold pictures ng mga babaeng Amerikana. Walang tumunog na bell. Pasado lahat.

Ang ikalawang bahagi ng exams ay ang panunuood nila ng triple-X rated films kasama ang pelikulang DEEP THROAT ni Linda Lovelace. Walang tumunog. Psado silang lahat.

Habang hinihintay ang ikatlo at hiling pagsubok, di na nakayanan ni Abe ang init sa loob ng kwartong pinagdausan ng exam kasi walang aircon o electric fan man lang. Pinagpapawisan na siya.Inalis ni Abe ang kanyang suot na sutana at aksidenting lumabas ang kanyang itinatago.

BIGLANG NAGTUNUGAN LAHAT NG BELL NG MGA KAESKWELA!!

Si Abe lang ang pumasa!

 

PILOSOPO KA AH?

Mcdo Crew: (To Abe who is falling in line to the Cashier) Good morning sir. Ano po ang order nyo?

Abe: Isang large burger at large Coke.

Mcdo Crew: Dito po nyo ba kakainin?

Abe: Uhhhmmm, pwedeng sa table na lang? Nakakahiya kasi kung dito may nakapila pa sa likuran?

Mcdo Crew: Sir, Sa table ho? Ayaw nyo po bang sa plato kakainin para di baboy tingnan? hehehe

 

T H E O R Y

THEORY OF EVOLUTION: ….1/2 unggoy
Jaime Zobel de Ayala: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Spanish
Henry Sy: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese
Lito Atienza: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo
Mike Arroyo: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pork
John Osmena: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay
Prospero Pichay: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 Gulay
Gloria Macapagal Arroyo: 1/2….only

 

N A G M A N A

Abe: Dad, pinagalitan ako ng teacher ko.

Dad: Bakit?

Abe: Hinalikan ko kasi seatmate ko eh.

Dad: Itong binatilyo ko talaga, nagmana sa akin. Masarap ba?

Abe: Opo Dad, pogi po eh!

 

W E A K N E S S

(Sa Loob ng SM City Baguio)

Abe: (to his new GF) Baby, yung naka red shirt near the BDO ATM machine ang sinasabi kung ex-girlfriend ko.

Marie: Yaaaks! Ang pangit-pangit naman!

Abe: Wala akung magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since…

 

DENIAL OF THE EQUAL PROTECTION OF THE LAW

A lady student in Constitutional Law II (Bill of Rights) asked during class discussions on the right to equal protection under the Constitution:

Kristine:   If I sleep with three (3) different men, everyone calls me a slut. But when a man sleeps with ten (10) different women, everyone calls him a real man. How come?

Prof. Larry:   Confucious answered that centuries ago, my dear. It’s very simple. When one lock could be opened by three (3) different keys, it is definitely a bad lock. But when one (1) key can open ten (10) different locks, its a Master Key!!!

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Jokes Part III

Laugh out your stress.  Read the best Filipino lawyer’s jokes from Atty. Lauro (Larry) Gacayan.

Thank you, Atty. Gacayan, for sharing your jokes.

laughteristhebestmedPHILOSOPHIES OF THE MODERN TIMES

  1. The wise never marry. When they do, they become otherwise;
  2. Your future depends on your dreams. So do not work just go to sleep.
  3. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
  4. Children in backseats cause accidents; but accidents in the backseat cause children;

    5. Conserve water. So drink beer; and

  5. Save water. Shower with a partner!

 

SAYINGS TO LIVE BY…

  1. Birds of the same feather are definitely the same birds;
  2. Do not do unto others what you can’t do;
  3. An apple a day is not an apple at night;
  4. When the cat is away, the mouse is alone;

    5. If others can do it, don’t help;

  5. Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you mine;
  6. Early to bed and early to rise makes you sleepy in the afternoon!

 

FOOLING AROUND

Abe and his wife, even though he is not that handsome, are blessed with two (2) stunningly beautiful daughters. But he is dying to have a son.

After 10 years of waiting, a boy was born but Abe was horrified to see a very ugly child.

He went to the hospital bed of his wife and confronted her:

Abe: Look at the two very beautiful daughters that I fathered. This newly-born baby could not have been my son. Have you been fooling around on me?

Susan: Promise dear, not this time!

 

DIVISION OF PROPERTIES FOR “SEPARATING” SPOUSES

Atty. Abe and his wife Jenny, with no children, both sexually active in their younger years, are now in their early 40’s but already sexually cold with each other.

Abe: Hindi na rin lang natin mahal ng isat’ isa maghiwalay na lang tayo!

Jenny: Mabuti pa!

Abe: Sa akin ang mansion natin sa Baguio City!

Jenny: Ok lang basta sa akin ang condo natin sa Bellagio!

Abe: Ok lang basta sa akin ang palayan natin sa Nueva Ecija!

Jenny: Ok lang basta sa akin yung lansones farm natin sa San Pedro, Laguna!

Abe: Sa akin yung kotse nating BMW 2013 model at sa iyo na yung palyadung Mitsubishi Lancer 2000 Model na kotse natin kasi ako rin lang naman ang nagtatrabaho!

Jenny: Ok lang basta sa akin si Bomber, ang machung driver natin!

Abe: Magpatayan na lang tayo! Over my dead body!….hehehe

 

5 SECRETS TO A COMPLETE HAPPINESS OF A MAN

  1. It is important to find a woman who is good at household chores, cooks well, prepare for your office needs, and could take care of the kids in your absence;
  2. It is important to find a woman who could escort you and you could display to your friends during social functions;
  3. It is important that the woman shares shares the same life goals and common visions as you;
  4. It is also very important to find a woman who is excellent in bed and loves to have endless sex with you; and
  5. It is very important that these four (4) women never meet since it is difficult to find the above qualities in only one woman… — Agree?

 

LATEST EXPECTED HIT SINGLE OF FREDDIE AGUILAR…

Nung late 70’s, ang single ni Freddie Aguilar na pinamagatang “ANAK” ay naging Gold Record hindi lang sa Pilipinas at sa buong Asya.

Ilalabas na ang bagong expected hit ni Freddie which will sell like hotcakes. Ang title ay….

“APO”….

HEHEHE

 

ANOTHER VIOLATION OF THE CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO EQUAL PROTECTION OF THE LAW?

Nahuli ni Badong ang kanyang tatay at si Joya na katulong nila na nagdo-dog style sa kanilang likod bahay. Kinabahan si tatay na baka magsumbong ang anak sa kanyang asawa.

Abe: Anak, ito ang P500.00, hwag mung sasabihin sa nanay mo ang nakita mo ha? Please?

Badong: Eh, ‘tay, unfair naman pag P500.00 lang.

Abe: Bakit anak?

Badong: Kasi nung nakita ko si nanay at si Ninong Ceasar na nagsi-69 sa kwarto ninyo nung nagbabar lecture ka sa Cebu, P1,000.00 and binigay niya sa akin!

 

KOREK NA DESKRIPSYUN NG MGA MAMBABATAS NGAYUN…

Hindi dapat tawaging KAGALANG GALANG ang mga MAMBABATAS na SANGKOT sa PORK BARREL SCANDAL…

Ang dapat itawag sa kanila ay…

KAGULANG GULANG NA MAMBUBUTAS…

 

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COMPLETE AND FINISHED…

No English Dictionary has been able to explain the real differences between the words “COMPLETE” and “FINISHED”. Some people insist that there is no difference. But the truth is, there are.

  1. When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE but when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED!
  2. When your wife catches you with another woman, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED. But when your wife likes shopping at SM CITY BAGUIO so much, you are FINISHED COMPLETELY!

 

DENIAL OF THE EQUAL PROTECTION OF THE LAW…

A lady student in Constitutional Law II (Bill of Rights) asked during class discussions on the right to equal protection under the Constitution:

Lady Mae:   If I sleep with three (3) different men, everyone calls me a slut. But when a man sleeps with ten (10) different women, everyone calls him a real man. How come?

Larry:   Confucious answered than centuries ago. It’s very simple. When one lock could be opened by three (3) different keys, it is definitely a bad lock. But when one (1) key can open ten (10) different locks, its a Master Key!!!

 

THE BEAUTY OF HAVING A WIFE?

Christopher Columbus might not have never discovered America if he was married because the following would have taken place before his long journey.

WIFE:
Where are you going?
With whom?
How?
What for?
Why you?
What should I do when you are gone?
Can I come along?
When will you be back?
Where will you stay?
Will you be missing me?

And his answer will be:
Columbus:   Ok fine… I won’t go! Happy???…….hehehe

Jokes Part II

Laugh out your stress.  Read the best Filipino lawyer’s jokes from Atty. Lauro (Larry) Gacayan.

Thank you, Atty. Gacayan, for sharing your jokes.

 laughteristhebestmed

IMPOSIBLE!

Isang araw, napansin ni John na sobrang problemado ang kanyang kaibigan na si Abe.

John: Mukhang may malalim ata tayung problema pare ah?

Abe: Oo nga pare.

John: Ano yun?

Abe: Pare, nabuntis ko yung sekretarya ko!

John: Di ba sinabi ko nun na hwag kalimutang gagamit ng contraceptives?

Abe: Pare, gumagamit naman ako ng condom lagi!

John: Makinig ka pare at ipapaliwanag ko!

Abe: Sige nga pare at takut akung malaman ito ng kumare mo.

John: May isang lalake na umakyat ng gubat na may dala-dalang payong. Biglang may sumalubong sa kanya na malaking tigre na akmang papatay sa kanya. Kinalabit niya ang pindutan ng payung niya at may narinig siyang malakas na tunog ng baril. Patay ang malaking tigre!

Abe: Hahahaha..Imposible naman yun pare! BAKA MAY IBANG TUMIRA SA TIGRE PARE!

John: EXACTLY!

 

NAPANSIN NI MISIS…

Misis: Inday, napansin mo ba ang barong ni Sir mo nung nilabhan mo na may lipstick eh hindi naman ako naglilipstick ng ganitong kulay?

Inday: Opo ma’am kaya galit na galit nga po ako. Mukhang niloloko na tayo ni sir ah?

 

NAAAWA SA ASAWA

During cross-examination in a trial for Parricide…

Atty. Abe (Private Prosecutor): Habang pinapanuod mng inumin ang kapeng may lason ang namayapa mong asawa, hindi ka man lang ba naawa sa kanya kahit isang beses?

Diana (Wife-Accused): Naawa naman po ako.

Atty. Abe: At kailan yun?

Diana: Nun’ng humingi pa ng isa pang tasa ng kape!

 

ANG BABAE, BOW…

May babae na talagang maganda; meron din mga babae na maganda lang sa malayo; at meron din namang mga babaeng malayung maging maganda…

 

K A L A N D I A N

In Abe’s Math Class…

Teacher: Abe, kung may 5 akung anak sa una kung boyfriend, 7 anak sa ikalawa kung boyfriend at 4 na anak sa ikatlo kung boyfriend, meron akung…

Abe: KALANDIAN po. Isa kang karengkeng, malandi, haliparot, pokpok, imoral ma’am!

Teacher: Get out. Bagsak ka na sa subject ko! hehehe

 

A DENTIST’S ADVICE…

Please treat your boyfriend or girlfriend like your toothbrush…

Do not let anybody use it while you are still using it….and

CHANGE IT EVERY MONTH! hehehe

 

A DYING MAN’S CONFESSION…

Abe felt that he was dying so he feels it is high time to confess his sins to his wife..

Abe: Love, I have something to confess.

Marie: There’s no need to, baby.

Abe: No, I insist. I want to die with a clear conscience.I want to die in peace.

Marie: Okay.

Abe: I had sex with your sister Alma. Also with your best friend Mae and her best friend Joy. Lastly, I had also sex with your widowed mother, Genevieve.

Marie: I know. Please just rest and let the poison work!

 

HOLIDAY SEASONS…

Teacher: Ano ang holiday para sa mga magkakasintahan?

Abe: Valentine’s Day Ma’am!

Teacher: Ano naman ang holiday para sa ating mga nanay?

Abe: Mother’s Day, Ma’am.

Teacher: Ano naman ang holiday para sa mga tatay?

Abe: Father’s Day, ma’am!

Teacher: Ano naman ang holiday ng mga buntis?

Abe: Labor Day po Ma’am!

Teacher: Ano naman ang tawag sa holiday ng mga binata na walang girlfriend?

Abe: Palm Sunday Ma’am!

 

MAGASTOS

Marie: Tama na yang beer na yan. Inum ka ng inom, magastos!

Elmer: Ikaw, make-up ka ng make-up, maastos!

Marie: Alam mo, kaya ako nagmamake-up para laging maganda ako sa iyo!

Elmer: Alam mo ba na kaya lagi akung inom ng inom ng beer para gumanda ka naman sa paningin ko!

 

TANING NG BUHAY…

Pagkatapus ng kanyang “executive check-up”, kinausap ng Doctor si Abe:

Doctor: Atty. Abe, I am sorry to tell you that you have brain cancer. May taning na ang buhay mo at ang pinakamatagal ay anim na buwan.

Abe: Wala na bang pag-asa Doctor?Ano po ang maganda kung gagawin?

Doctor: Mag-asawa ka ng pangit at bungangera.

Abe: Bakit Doctor, gagaling ba ako pag pangit at bungangera ang mapapangasawa ko?

Doctor: Hindi. Pero pag ganun ang mapapangasawa mo, hindi na masakit ang mamatay kasi mas mabuti pa ang mamatay kaysa mabuhay!…hehehe

 

SEX WITH A PATIENT, UNETHICAL BUT SEX WITH A CLIENT, NORMAL?

Doctor Rene received a Notice to Vacate his clinic from the Building Administrator for “unethical conduct”.

He immediately went to see his friend, Atty. Abe, for legal advice regarding his options on the matter.

Atty. Abe: Doc, what is the basis of the Building Administrator to eject you from that building?

Doc. Rene: Allegedly based on unethical conduct, Atty.

Atty. Abe: What is the evidence of the Building Administrator constituting “unethical conduct”, doctor?

Doc. Rene: The sworn statements of two (2) security guards of the building who saw me having sexual intercourse with my patient, Atty.

Atty. Abe: Did you really have sexual intercourse with your patient, Doctor?

Doc Rene: Yes, Atty. Did I violate any law? I heard from unimpeachable sources that you had sexual intercourse with some of your beautiful and sexy lady clients, is that not also unethical?

Atty. Abe: To me, sex with a client is normal. But you, Doctor, sex with your patient is unethical. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE A VETERINARIAN!

 

WHO IS THE LUCKIEST PARENT?

It was an alumni homecoming in a top university in Manila. The classmates were talking about their children.

Marvin: I am very lucky. My only son topped the Bar Exams five (5) years ago and he is now a partner in one of the most prestigious law offices in Makati. He earns millions per month. His Law Office is the retainer of 12 of the top 100 corporations in the Philippines. He gifted his girlfriend a 2013 Red Porsche Carrera worth more than P10M! He gives her a monthly allowance of P50,000.00!

Sonny: I also consider myself very lucky. My only son finished his Masters in Business Administration at Harvard Business School and is now the CEO of a big telecommunications company earning millions in salaries and allowances per month. Like your son Marvin, he is still single. He just gifted his girl-friend one of the 4 penthouses at The Bellagio in Global City worth P40M, more expensive than the unit of former Chief Justice Renato Corona which is in the lower floors. He gives his gf P100,000 per month as her allowance.

Auggie: My son is the top cardiologist at St. Luke’s. His patients include the top CEO’s of the biggest corporations in the country. His income is over P5M per month. He gifted his girlfriend a vacation house in Baguio City worth P20M! He gives his gf P100,000 monthly allowance.

Larry, one of their closest classmates 20 years ago was very sad and was not talking. They asked him about his only son.

Larry. I am very sad to tell you that my only son did not finished college. He is gay but appears to be a perfectly-beautiful woman though he has not undergone sex change. He has no work but gives me P50,000.00 per month as my allowance. One of his bf’s gifted him a 2013 Red Porsche Carrera which he drives around the city plus monthly allowance. He lives at the most expensive penthouse at The Bellagio in Global City which was a gift from another boyfriend who also gives him P100,000 monthly allowance and if he is tired of the heat and pollution in Metro Manila, he goes to his P20M mansion in Baguio City which was a gift from another bf who like the other two (2), does not know that he is a man!

 

 

SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

Yesterday, Ms. Maldita, the very beautiful and sexy secretary of a middle-aged lawyer in Baguio came to my office to engage my legal services in filing a criminal case against her boss.

Maldita: Attorney, I want to engage yourlegal services. I want to file a criminal case against my boss, Atty. Jack Ibagbaga.

Atty. Larry: Anung kaso Miss?

Maldita: Sexual harassment, Attorney!

Atty. Larry: Bakit sexual harassment?

Maldita: Sinabihan nya ba naman akung “ang bango ng buhok mo!”

Atty. Larry: Eh anung masama nyan? In fact, he was praising you.

Maldita: Attorney, unano ang boss ko! Unano!…hehehehe

Jokes Part I

Laugh out your stress.  Read the best Filipino lawyer’s jokes from Atty. Lauro (Larry) Gacayan.

Thank you, Atty. Gacayan, for sharing your jokes.

laughteristhebestmed

HOUSE RULES….

Atty. Abe: [To his Wife] I come home when I want to, I will go anywhere I like and when I come home, I want my meals ready! Is that understood?

Maldita: Okay, that is not a problem to me. But I want to have sex at 7 p.m. everyday, whether you are here or not!

 

EXTENSIVE TESTS

Maldita consulted a sex therapist regarding her problem.

Maldita: Doctor, paano ko malalaman na sex maniac ako kasi lagi akung binibiro na ganyan daw ako ng mga kaibigan ko?

Doctor: Marami tayung gagawin na tests iha. Pero bago ang lahat, please bitiwan mo munba ang itlog ko!

 

PARKER PEN…

Abe: (To the salesgirl) Miss pabili nga Parker pen.

Saleslady: Sorry po sir, wala po kaming tindang ballpen dito.

Abe: My God! Anung klaseng Penshoppe ito na walang tindang ballpen!

 

KALOKOHAN!

Doctor: Bago ka pumunta dito, may nauna ka na bang pinagkunsultahan tungkol sa sakit mo?

Abe: Sa albularyo po.

Doctor: Anung KALOKOHAN ang pinayo sa iyo?

Abe:Pupunta raw ako sa iyo dok!

 

QUICK CHECK ON BRIDE’S VIRGINITY

Gani is planning to get married to his long-time GF Maldita whom he was not able to bring to a private place during their relationship saying she wants to be virgin up to their honeymoon.

Gani consulted Atty. Abe, a sex guru, how he could tell if his bride is indeed virgin on their honeymoon.

Atty. Abe: Well, you need three (3) things. One, a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a small hammer.

Gani: And what shall I do with these three?

Atty. Abe: Before the wedding night, paint one of your testicles with red and the other blue.

Gani: What will these tell me whether my bride is really virgin?

Atty. Abe: If your bride says during your honeymoon “that’s the strangest pair of balls I’ve ever seen!”, then she is not a virgin.

Gani: Where shall I use the small hammer then?

Atty. Abe: After she says yours is the strangest pair of balls she has seen,, hit her head with the hammer!

 

HUBBY’S PICTURE

Atty. Abe saw his picture being placed by his wife in her bag when going to work.

Atty. Abe: Love, lagi kung nakikita na dinadala mo ang picture ko sa bag mo kapag pumapasuk ka sa trabaho mo? Bakit?

Jenny: Pag may problema ako, kahit gaano kabigat, mawawala kapag nakikita ko ang picture mo.

Atty. Abe: Sabi ko na nga ba na talagang mahal na mahal mo ako eh.

Jenny: Tinitingnan ko lang ang picture mo, tapus sinasabi ko na sa sarili ko na WALA NANG PROBLEMA NA MAS MAHIGIT PA RITO—BABAERO, SUGAROL AT LASENGGERO—at kaya ko nang gawin lahat ng mabibigat na trabaho sa office!

MOTION TO RESET

Atty. Abe has just finished a Motion to Reset his case for tomorrow because of an urgent family matter to attend to.

Atty. Abe: (to his Visayan Secretary) Ipadala mo nga itong Motion to Reset kay Atty. Larry para hindi na pupunta sa kaso namin bukas sa RTC Baguio.

Maldita: Sir, ITITIlegram ko ba o IKIKI-ble ko, sir?

Atty. Abe: i-FUCKS mo na lang!

 

E G G

Atty. Richard was at the the Women’s Section of SM Baguio to buy a BRA as a surprise gift to his girlfriend Maldita.

Salesgirl: Sir, ano ho ang hinahanap nyo?

Atty. Richard: Bra sana para gf ko.

Salesgirl: Sir, what is the size of the boobs of your girlfriend?

Atty. Richard: I do not know eh.

Salesgirl: Is it as big as a papaya, sir?

Atty. Richard: No!

Salesgirl: As big as an apple, sir?

Atty. Richard: No!

Salesgirl: Ahhh..as big as an egg, sir?

Atty. Richard: YES!….but fried!

 

THE CASE OF THE DEFECTIVE ALARM CLOCK

Abe: First time na nagising ako dahil sa alarm clock namin!

Mar: Pards, di ba sinabi mo nun na sira ang alarm clock nyo, Naparepair mo na ba kaya ginising ka na niya?

Abe: Hindi pa friend.

Mar: Paano ka nagising dahil sa alarm clock nyo kung sira pa na sabi mo?

Abe: Yun ang ibinato sa akin ni misis kaya nagising ako! huhuhu

 

THE CASE OF THE DOMINEERING WIFE

Four (4) classmates in college were talking about their present lives in relation to their professions.

P/Chief Supt. Abe: I arrest people but when I go home, I’m the one under house arrest by my WIFE!

Law Prof. Rey: I give lectures to my students regarding their human rights but when I go home,I am the one being lectured by my WIFE!

Supervisor Gani: I am the boss at work but when I am at home, I always feel like I am just an ordinary employee of my WIFE!

Judge Caloy:I give justice to people but when I am home, I beg for justice from my WIFE!

AYAW NG PAMILYA NIYA

Brenda: Maldita, malaki na ang tiyan mo ah, ilang buwan na yan?

Madlita; Anim na buwan na fren.

Brenda: Ba’t di pa kayo magpakasal sa boyfren mung lawyer?

Maldita: Ayaw daw ng pamilya niya, eh.

Brenda: Sinong may ayaw sa ganda at kaseksihan mung yan? Ang nanay ba niya o ang tatay niya?

Maldita: Yung asawa niya!

 

THE CASE OF THE” EXPECTED” CHILD…

Three (3) close friends, Mae, Kristina and Brenda were talking regarding their pregnancies and their expected children in less than a month…

Mae, I am very sure that my child will be a girl because I prefer to be always on top when we are making love with my boyfriend…

Kristina: Me, I am very sure that it would be a baby boy because my boyfriend always wants to be dominant over me during sex and that he is partial to the missionary position.

They observed that their friend Brenda was very silent and about to cry. They asked why…

Brenda: I am so afraid I might be giving birth to puppies!

 

MAS MAGANDA YUNG SA ATIN…

Atty. Abe and his wife Jenny, had long been in silent competition with their best friend-couple, Atty. Rene and his wife Remy, in almost everything..

One evening while Abe and jenny were having dinner at Baguio Crown Legacy Hotel, a very young and sexy woman entered the restaurant, greeted Abe and even kissed him on the lips then waved goodbye. Jenny was shocked with the lack of respect to her by the lady. She asked Abe who is the girl and he confessed to Jenny that she is her mistress. Jenny stood up and berated Abe and challenging him that they will split up.

Suddenly, Atty. Rene and a middle-aged woman entered the restaurant with the latter tightly holding the right hand of Atty. Rene and they were very sweet with one another.

Jenny asked Abe who is the woman and Abe told her she is the mistress of Atty.Rene.

Jenny laughed and said I am not angry at you now. At least, nakabawi na tayo kina kumare at kumpadre Remy and Rene. MAS MAGANDA HAMAK NAMAN YUNG SA ATIN KAYSA YUNG KABIT NI PARENG RENE! hahaha